Jokes and Riddles
Wednesday, Tom and Joe went to a restaurant and ate dinner. When they were done they paid for the food and left. But Tom and Joe didn’t pay for the food. Who did?
You will find me in the past. I can be created in the present but the future can never taint me, what am I?
What is big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten mum’s day?
The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I?
I don’t have eyes but once I did see. Once I had thoughts but now I’m white and empty. What am I?
What belongs to you but others use it more than you do? What am I?
What is harder to catch the faster you run?
What flies without wings?
WEDNESDAY THE THIRD PERSON IN THE GR0UP NOT THE DAY
By Rebecca and Amie (Year 4)
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba tooth paste.
Knock ’knock! Who`s there? Pizza. Pizza who? Pizza really great guy!
What do elves learn at school? The elf abet.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs? A clock.
Q. So you’re stuck in a room with no doors or windows or any way of escaping but you have a table and a chainsaw. How do you get out?
A. Use the chainsaw to cut the table in half. Two halves make a ‘hole’. Jump through the hole and you’re out!
Q. Imagine you are in a room with no way of escaping. How do you get out?
A. Stop imagining you’re in a room!
Q. A boy and a dad go rock climbing. They fall off and the dad dies but the boy calls 999. He goes to hospital and the doctor says, ‘I cannot operate on this boy, he is my son!’ How?
A. The doctor is the mum!
Q. Two dads and two sons go fishing. They all catch a fish but go home with three fish how?
A. There are actually three people: a grandad, a dad and a son. The grandad and the dad are two dads, the dad and the son are two sons (the dad is a son to the grandad and the grandad is a dad to the dad).
Q. There are 10 fish in a tank. 4 die of starvation, 3 die and 3 swim away. How many fish are left?
A. The ones that die would still be in the tank and how could 3 fish swim away if they are stuck in a tank? There are 10!